


Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

by thewintersghost



Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: First Love, Fluff, M/M, Pining, and they do pure cute things such as hand holding!!, it's gay and wonderful, moomin learns about love and feels really sappy, snufmin is real and it's beautiful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-03-26 16:16:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19009330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewintersghost/pseuds/thewintersghost
Summary: He looked at his friend, trying to make sense of the feeling. Snufkin, who was gazing at the sea, his eyes distant as though he was lost in thought, was so… warm, Moomin realized. Every spring when he returned, he seemed to bring with him a feeling of calm. How fitting that spring, the season of rebirth, always brought a new feeling of admiration for his friend. Moomin couldn’t think, couldn’t focus when Snufkin was gone, but his friend being around made him happy. Just sitting on the hill, alone with him, was enough to take away the chill of the wind.It was then that Moomin realized he was in love.During fall in Moominvalley, Moomin is forced to confront his feelings for Snufkin. With just a few days left until his friend leaves for the winter, Moomin begins to learn and understand his love and complex emotions towards him with the hope that Snufkin feels the same way.





	1. Chapter 1

This time of year was not beautiful, it was painful.

Moomin couldn’t help but see the leaves falling as a sign that Snufkin was leaving. He had tried to convince himself earlier in the season that their golden color was simply because of the light, until they had turned deep oranges and browns, something he couldn't deny. Now he could practically smell the looming cold in the air. He knew that Snufkin must feel it too, but Moomin was scared to mention it. 

He realized he didn’t have much time with Snufkin left.

So, he pushed the feelings aside and decided to spend as much time with Snufkin as possible.

Their first adventure since Moomin’s realization took them to the top of a tall hill near Moomin’s house, a hill Snufkin said he had visited often. In the distance, they could see the mountains.

“Wow Snufkin, it’s beautiful!” Moomin exclaimed, a grin on his face. Beneath the two, the land seemed to spread out for miles. The hill was tall enough that they felt comfortably alone.

“Look over there,” Snufkin said, pointing. “You can see the ocean.” He was smiling too. The sea was certainly visible, sparkling in the midday light despite the overcast sky. 

“You’re right!” Moomin said. “I can.” He knew how important the ocean was to Snufkin, who loved it more than nearly anything else in the world. The two sat down, taking in the view together and enjoying the solitude. But Moomin found it hard to keep his mind off of how soon Snufkin would leave. A light wind was blowing, containing a chill that was difficult to ignore. 

“You know,” Snufkin began, “winter is coming.” They had been thinking the same thing after all, the idea of Snufkin’s leaving shared between the two of them. Moomin was quiet, hoping that if he didn’t mention it, Snufkin would somehow forget. An awkward silence fell over the pair until Snufkin finally continued. “I’m thinking of leaving in two weeks.”

“That soon?” Moomin asked, emotion clear in his voice. It was the same feeling he always felt whenever Snufkin left, but it seemed that each year the impact it had grew stronger. 

“Moomintroll,” Snufkin said with a sigh. “You can feel the cold wind. I can too. If I don’t leave soon, I’ll be trapped here all winter.”

“Would that really be so bad?” Moomin wondered, his emotions growing. He was always surprised how much he didn’t want Snufkin to leave. He glanced over at his friend, who had a thoughtful expression on his face, though a little pained. Finally, Snufkin answered.

“No,” he said, “Being with you isn’t bad. But sometimes, I need to spend some time by myself.” Moomin didn’t know what to say, he just nodded. Suddenly the distance between the two of them seemed too much for Moomin. They would have all winter to be distant, he thought with some frustration. It was at that moment that he knew that he wanted to be closer to Snufkin.

He looked at his friend, trying to make sense of the feeling. Snufkin, who was gazing at the sea, his eyes distant as though he was lost in thought, was so… warm, Moomin realized. Every spring when he returned, he seemed to bring with him a feeling of calm. How fitting that spring, the season of rebirth, always brought a new feeling of admiration for his friend. Moomin couldn’t think, couldn’t focus when Snufkin was gone, but his friend being around made him happy. Just sitting on the hill, alone with him, was enough to take away the chill of the wind.

It was then that Moomin realized he was in love.

He didn’t simply like Snufkin, like he did with Sniff, or Snorkmaiden, or even Little My on a good day. No, this was a different feeling, with the power to make him feel ways that he had never experienced. The sudden beating of his heart when he looked at Snufkin, the way that he would gladly spend all his time with him, the way time spent with Snufkin could never become boring, were unlike any of his other friendships. 

Perhaps Moomin had always known he was in love, from the moment he first met Snufkin and realized he was unlike any person he had previously met. They had grown closer, and become best friends, and the desire to be alone with Snufkin, where he could have him all to himself, had continued to affect Moomin, and even grow stronger. Just thinking about it made him feel warm. He identified another new sensation then, one he had likely always felt but wanted to repress, the desire to hold Snufkin’s hand. 

Suddenly Snufkin turned, away from the ocean, to face Moomin, who was forced to quickly try to avert his eyes so it didn’t seem like he had been staring at his friend (though he had been). Snufkin stood up, a gentle smile on his face.

“Coming here always helps me relax,” he told Moomin. “It’s a good place to think, and to know your own mind.” Moomin internally laughed. He had certainly thought, alright.

“It’s wonderful,” Moomin said. He meant it. “Thank you for showing me!”

“Of course,” Snufkin replied. “Shall we climb back down now?”

They began the descent, a slightly difficult journey. Although easy enough to climb up, the hill was rocky and steep at points, and Moomin had to be careful not to trip on his way back down. He was thankful for the challenge, a distraction from his thoughts about Snufkin. By the time they had reached the bottom, Moomin had nearly forgotten that he loved Snufkin, until he looked at his friend again and the feeling came back instantly. How gorgeous Snufkin looked, Moomin thought, when he was this graceful. It was clear from even the way Snufkin walked that he was used to travelling. He moved smoothly, almost silently, without even trying, an effortless aura of dignity, but not pride, surrounding him. Snufkin’s confidence was something that he admired. 

It was becoming darker already, another sign that winter was approaching. Moomin knew it was time for him and Snufkin to go their separate ways.

“See you tomorrow?” Moomin asked hopefully. He was prepared to honor his commitment to spend as much time with Snufkin as he could.

“Perhaps,” Snufkin said with a smile. It was so like him, Moomin thought, not to make plans. He could only hope that his friend would be available then.

“Well, bye Snufkin!” Moomin called cheerfully, though he felt the familiar sadness as Snufkin vanished into the forest again. Moomin stood alone for a while, then walked home, his mind on his friend. He didn't understand all of what he felt, but perhaps Moominmamma would know how to help him make sense of it.

“Moomin, dear,” Moominmamma said as Moomin entered the house. She was in the kitchen cooking dinner. "Welcome back." Noticing as he lingered in the room, she continued. “What’s on your mind?”

“What does love feel like?” Moomin blurted out.

“Love?” Moominmamma said, thinking for a bit. “Love is different for many people, dear. For many, love is strong and powerful. For you, it seems, love is spending your time with one person, and your love is devotion.” 

“Do you think someone could love someone else without dedicating their whole time to someone else?” Moomin asked.

“Of course,” Moominmamma replied gently. “In fact, love to many means caring enough that not even distance can make them stop.”

Moomin thought about this. “Really?” he asked.

“Yes, dear,” Moominmamma replied. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” Moomin couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to his friend, the one he admired so deeply. It seemed like love to him, he thought, the way that he longed for Snufkin to return when he was gone, and how every time Snufkin came back, he left Moomin feeling the same joy and affection that he had previously, if not more so. 

“So when Snufkin goes away,” Moomin continued cautiously, “he still loves me?”

“Yes,” Moominmamma said without hesitation, “of course. As I said, love is different for different people.” She paused, considering her words. “For Snufkin, I think, love is giving up his lifestyle to stay in the same place most of the year, just to be with someone special.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Moomin and Snufkin hold hands.

They were sitting by the ocean, watching the waves come in.

With Snufkin, there was always a period of comfortable silence, something Moomin had gotten used to, but today, he found it hard to tolerate the quiet. His eyes wandered to Snufkin’s hand, wondering again what it’d be like to hold it. 

What had Moominmamma meant when she had said that Snufkin loved him? Surely she didn’t understand the way that Moomin felt. No, it had seemed she was referring to platonic love after all, the love that had tied the two friends together and caused Snufkin to return every year.

But what if she hadn’t been?

Moomin’s face felt very warm, his heartbeat quickening as he allowed himself to consider the unlikely possibility that Snufkin felt the same way about him as he did about his friend. He caught himself imagining it, confessing to Snufkin that he loved him and Snufkin confessing back, but he couldn’t picture what would happen after such a thing, so he kept replaying the daydream, changing the way that he worded his feelings slightly, but always stopping after Snufkin’s response.

“Moomintroll,” Snufkin said, bringing Moomin back to the beach. “Are you okay?”

“O-of course,” Moomin stuttered, confused. “Why would I not be?”

“You looked a little distant, and your face was red,” Snufkin replied. “You’re not sick, are you?” His brown eyes were filled with concern, and for a second, Moomin made eye contact with his friend. They were looking at each other for that moment, Moomin gazing into Snufkin’s thoughtful eyes. Realizing he was staring, he quickly looked down again, blushing even more than before.

“Maybe it’s just the chill in the air,” Moomin lied, hoping that Snufkin couldn’t see through him. “I’m sure I’ll feel better soon.”

“Hopefully so,” Snufkin said. “I wouldn’t want you getting sick right before you have to hibernate.” Moomin could feel his friend’s eyes still on him. Pretending not to notice, he glanced back out at the ocean, his heart racing. Silence fell between the two again, the type of silence Moomin longed to fill, if only he had the right words to speak.

“Snufkin,” he blurted out suddenly. “Where do you go for your journeys?”

“Well,” Snufkin said, smiling slightly, “I go to many places. Sometimes I’ll choose at random. I’ll follow a creek that looks interesting, or perhaps see a majestic mountain to climb in the distance. But ultimately, I head south.”

“I see,” Moomin said, nodding. He imagined it, Snufkin walking along the bank of a river, off with no destination in mind, and no one he relied on, and he felt both admiration and a sense of longing for the freedom Snufkin experienced. He wondered if his friend ever thought about him while he was gone.

“It can be hard, you know,” Snufkin said after a while. “Sometimes I feel lost, or I’ll get tired. But it’s a wonderful way to be at peace with your thoughts.”

“You can learn a lot about yourself by thinking,” Moomin said softly, remembering his realization that he loved Snufkin. How did Snufkin stand it, he wondered, knowing so much about himself?

“Yes,” Snufkin said. “You can.” He pushed his hat up and glanced up at the sky, which was filled with darkening clouds. “I think there’s a storm coming. Perhaps we should head back.” The waves were rougher now, the wind around them becoming stronger.

“Sounds like a good idea,” Moomin said. 

“Well, let’s go,” Snufkin said, standing up. The first drops of rain were beginning to fall. “Come on!” He grabbed Moomin’s hands, pulling him up. Moomin was immediately aware of the fact that he was holding Snufkin’s hands at last, and even if he knew it wasn’t in a romantic context, he couldn’t help but focus on the contact, Snufkin’s hands warm but tough after years of his journeys. There was something reassuring about his grip, something that made Moomin not want to let go, but Snufkin began to run as the rain grew harder, and Moomin’s hand slipped out of his friend’s.

They were running through the woods together, and though the rain was cold, the feeling of just being with Snufkin was enjoyable. It began to pour harder, and they were both soaked, but neither seemed to be concerned about it. 

“Moomintroll!” Snufkin called back as they ran. “We’re near where my tent is set up. Would you like to head in and wait for the rain to stop?”

“I’d love to,” Moomin shouted, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. Snufkin didn't seem to mind. So, they made their way to Snufkin’s tent, climbing in as the rain fell down outside. The inside was small, and they were both crowded together, but it was warmer and much drier in the tent.

“Moomintroll,” Snufkin said with an affectionate chuckle, “your fur is a mess.” 

“As is your hair,” Moomin replied as Snufkin took off his wet hat. The two friends laughed loudly together over the sound of the rain falling on the roof of the tent, grins plain on both of their faces. 

Snufkin’s smile, Moomin thought, was a pure thing, something that he adored. As the two laughed, he realized again how fond he was of Snufkin, and how much he loved to see his friend relaxed instead of awkward like he was in a crowd, though he thought that the awkward Snufkin was adorable too. It was moments like this that Moomin treasured the most, the times when laughing with Snufkin came more naturally than anyone else. It was true, spending time alone with Snufkin was one of Moomin’s favorite things in the world. And that was why it hurt so much when Snufkin left. 

Here in the tent together, their bodies close together, Snufkin’s departure seemed years away. Time seemed slower now, and it was even more obvious than it had been at the beach that it just the two of them, with no one else around. Moomin was aware of how intimate it was to be inside Snufkin’s tent, realizing that this was where Snufkin often slept, or thought, or did whatever else. He glanced up at his friend, who was desperately trying to dry his hair off, his coat seeming uncomfortably soaked, looking as cute as ever.

Oh, Moomin wanted to kiss him.

He couldn’t help but imagine the feeling, and he longed to find a good excuse to move closer to his friend. Yes, they weren’t far away from each other, but it would be lovely, Moomin thought, to be even closer. But he didn’t know what to do, and the space remained between him and Snufkin. 

He then went to imagining how nice it would be to hold Snufkin’s hand again. Casually, he placed his paw in the space between the two of them, hoping that Snufkin would do the same, but was careful to make it inconspicuous enough that there would be no way to know what he wanted if Snufkin didn’t take the hint. To Moomin’s surprise, Snufkin casually, nearly instinctively, grabbed Moomin’s hand in his. He said nothing, his eyes distant, as though he was barely noticing what he was doing, but his fingers gently brushed over the fur on Moomin’s hand like he was trying to remember the feeling of it.

Moomin was quiet, not sure what to say, but enjoying the moment. The feeling of Snufkin’s fingers, strong yet soft at the same time, finding their way into his, and the gentle reassuring squeeze of Snufkin’s hand, filled him with warmth. He loved Snufkin, really loved him, more than anyone he had ever met, and he knew then that he intended to tell him before he left for his journey.

As they sat hand in hand, it felt more like spring to him than it ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a lil gay dsfjdskfjsk hope y'all enjoyed babes and thanks for comments!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this chapter is a little short but i think you'll understand when you read it. warning: cheesy gay

It was the evening, and Moomin was getting ready to go to bed, when he heard Snufkin’s signal, the one that only the two of them shared.

Moomin, who had been sleepy before, immediately felt more awake. Every time Snufkin called for him, he felt special, more special than anyone else could possibly make him feel. He rushed out of his house quickly to see Snufkin waiting for him. He looked excited, his eyes practically sparkling, and Moomin wondered what it was about him that made him seem so alive all the time. 

“Moomintroll!” Snufkin exclaimed, grinning. “I found something. Follow me.” Snufkin grabbed Moomin’s arm, dragging him along as they ran into the forest together. It wasn’t an uncommon arrangement, but Moomin still felt his heart leap at Snufkin’s touch. With Snufkin being fond of exploring and sharing his discoveries with his friend, these adventures were frequent, but each one of them felt extraordinary to Moomin. 

They arrived at a clearing in the woods. The sky above them was clear, the trees barely clinging to their leaves dark leaves as fall turned to winter. Moomin tried to ignore the reminder that he only had a bit of time left with Snufkin. Beneath them, the grass was tall and soft, perfect to lie down in. Moomin glanced up and saw the stars, brighter than he had ever seen them, in the chilly fall air.

Snufkin didn’t speak, just took off his hat and lay down on the grass on his back, facing up to look at the sky. Moomin hesitated a second before joining him on the ground. They were a small distance apart from each other, a chill clear in the air, but Moomin barely felt it. 

For a minute, Moomin was overtaken with awe as he gazed at the sky above the two of them. The stars sprinkled across the darkness flickered gently, lighting up the heavens. Moomin was both calmed and overwhelmed by how big the sky was, and how brightly it shone. The whole sky seemed to sparkle, and Moomin couldn’t help but think about Snufkin in that moment, and the memory of his eyes filled with joy as he had brought Moomin to this place. Suddenly, the clearing seemed to be only theirs, the sky shining only for them, something that they shared that no one else could see.

“It’s beautiful, Snufkin,” Moomin finally said with admiration, though beautiful didn’t begin to describe what he thought.

“I thought so too,” Snufkin responded. He paused. “You see, I was walking through this area when I came across this clearing, and I thought of you.”

“I’m glad that you showed me,” Moomin told him, and he meant it.

“Of course I did,” Snufkin said with such sincerity that it surprised Moomin. “I knew that you would appreciate it.” His smile seemed unlike before somehow, mixed with another emotion Moomin couldn’t quite identify. Perhaps it was that his expression was softer, or perhaps the light of the stars made him appear different. Perhaps it was that Snufkin’s hat, which often cast shadows on his face, was sitting beside him, revealing more of his thoughtful eyes, the eyes that Moomin loved so much. Whatever the reason, things felt different than they had.

“Look there,” Snufkin said, pointing. “A shooting star.” Moomin’s eyes followed his finger to see a streak of light visible above them. It was one of the most wonderful things Moomin had ever seen. He was so caught up in how beautiful it was that he almost forgot that he needed to make a wish. Luckily, he didn’t even need to think about what his wish could be, because Snufkin immediately came to his mind, and Moomin knew what he wanted.

“Well,” Snufkin said after the moment had passed, “Did you remember to make a wish?” Moomin smiled. It was so like Snufkin, who he knew believed strongly in superstitions, to be concerned with them at a time like this, though he couldn’t deny that he had thought the same thing.

“Yes,” he said in reply, choosing deliberately not to elaborate. “Did you?”

“Of course,” Snufkin said. He sighed. “I just hope it comes true.” Moomin gave a nod, but Snufkin’s eyes had returned to the sky. He immediately seemed relaxed again, so Moomin didn’t say anything more, just gazed at him, wondering what his friend had wished for.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Snufkin thinks about his friendship with Moomin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short chapter but i still hope y'all will like it! enjoy!

After sitting in silence under the stars for a while, Snufkin and Moomin had parted ways, and now Snufkin was making his way back to his tent for the night. He could feel the cold, more chilling than it had been, and he knew he could stand only a few more days in the valley. He was a creature who longed for warmth, who lived for the spring and the summer, and who was he to go against his nature?

Yet something inside of him longed to resist it, if only briefly.

Deep down, Snufkin knew that he should have left weeks ago. He had been struggling to keep warm during the nights, struggling to find meals as the forest around him had begun to freeze, and yet the pull he normally felt to leave Moominvalley was weaker than it had been before. Why was that?

Without meaning to, Snufkin began picturing what it would be like to leave again, and he knew that it would be painful. Each year, he watched the sadness spread across Moomin’s face, saw the tears in his friend’s eyes, and he felt weak. He couldn’t think of anything he disliked more than hurting Moomintroll, and he figured that was what his leaving did.

Then his mind drifted to stargazing with Moomin, and Snufkin was forced to acknowledge the more selfish reason he didn’t want to leave.

He remembered the last winter, his travelling about with no direction, and he had allowed his mind to wander as freely as he did, yet somehow his thoughts had always returned to the Valley. Perhaps it is the kindness of the people, Snufkin thought, or perhaps there is something unique about the scenery here. 

He pushed the thought from his head. He didn’t need to think about it anymore. He would have plenty of time for thinking later. He often said that getting to know his own mind was something that he loved, and he still enjoyed it, but lately his thoughts seemed to be more scattered, drifting about uncontrolled, and he didn’t know what to do, so instead he had ignored them, stashing them away for later.

Perhaps the only thing to do was to leave tomorrow, but he didn’t know if he wanted that either. He wanted to be alone, but he wanted just a bit more time here, too.

Snufkin sighed, crawling into his tent. He wanted to sleep, and to push aside his dilemma until he was less tired, but somehow, he felt wide awake. Groaning in frustration, he dramatically rolled over as though the issue was the position he was in, though he knew it was childish. He closed his eyes, but his mind was racing too fast, and dreams seemed just out of reach, blurred by the noise of his head.

He realized he was instinctively tapping his hand on the ground. Though he tried to be subtle, Snufkin had a tendency to tap things when he was he was thinking about something. He calmed his hand, but the focus on it reminded him of Moomin, of the storm in the tent when he had placed his fingers on Moomin’s hand without meaning to. 

I’m such a fool, Snufkin thought, his face burning. What does Moomintroll think of me now?

But Snufkin couldn’t help but remember the moment again and relive the way that his heartbeat had sped up. He remembered the softness of his friend's paw, the comfort and warmth from the gesture, and the silent communication that had occurred between the two of them, and he wondered if what he had done was really wrong after all. He wished he had said something to Moomin, but what could he have said?

In spite of everything, Snufkin couldn’t stop himself from smiling in the darkness of his tent. I may regret some things, he thought, but overall, I had been waiting for a moment like that all along. If I’m lucky, I may get another time like that.

His mind was less frantic now, and he gradually fell asleep with the image of Moomintroll in his mind, the complicated emotions of what he felt mixing to form a soft, relaxing feeling, one that made him feel calm. As someone who liked to be alone, Snufkin hadn’t ever believed that the thought of a person could make him feel anything like relaxation, but Moomintroll was different, he was special, and Snufkin admired him. So, he slept, his dreams about the gentle feeling of Moomin's paw.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Moomin talks to Snufkin about how he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright babes it is SOFT time......

“Snufkin!” Moomin called as he raced towards the bridge. The cold air seemed to burn in his lungs as he ran. Snufkin stood, fishing pole in hand, as he often did when he wanted to be found.

“Moomintroll,” Snufkin said casually, glancing at his friend attempting to keep a blank expression, but unable to hide a grin. Moomin collapsed next to him, out of breath and too tired to speak for a few seconds as he recovered from his sprint.

“Can we do something today? Together, I mean.” Moomin finally asked, cringing at the desperation in his voice. Snufkin seemed to turn and give him a quizzical look, as though he had been caught off guard, though Moomin couldn’t tell if it was just his imagination. As the silence seemed to stretch on, Moomin continued. “You know,” he said awkwardly, “you’re leaving soon, so I’d like to…”

“Of course,” Snufkin said with the calm and effortless smile that Moomin loved so much. “I’ve been meaning to spend time with you as well. I was just wondering what we should do…” Snufkin turned to look towards the woods, as though he was attempting to envision what was of interest there. “I suppose we could do some exploring together,” he said finally. 

“That sounds great!” Moomin exclaimed, excited. The thought of him and Snufkin walking together was always pleasant. But, as Snufkin and Moomin grabbed arms, as they were so used to doing, and headed into the woods, something felt different. Moomin began to notice just how bare the trees were, and just how lifeless the woods really were.

“It seems winter is nearly here,” Snufkin said, echoing his thoughts. “Soon, I’ll have to leave. Perhaps in the next day or two.”

“But Snufkin,” Moomin protested, “you can’t really leave so early!” He knew that it was useless, of course, or normally would be, because Snufkin often went where he wanted. But this time, he saw Snufkin hesitate, his expression changing to something unrecognizable for a second.

“Moomintroll,” Snufkin said with a sigh. “You know I would love to stay here. In fact, I want to stay here, more than I… more than I ever have before.” He looked down as they walked, his face slightly pink. “I’ve already stayed longer than I should.” Silence fell between the two of them, and the only sounds they could hear were the crunch of leaves beneath their feet and the gentle rush of the stream nearby, the same one that Snufkin often fished in. Was this how it felt for Snufkin, Moomin wondered, when he was on his journey? It seemed that walking with no destination did make his thoughts more clear, and Moomin could feel a certain energy in the woods around him that seemed to draw out feelings he couldn't quite identify.

“Why haven’t you left yet, if it’s so late?” Moomin finally asked. He didn’t mean for the words to sound as harsh as they did, but they seemed to hang in the air, growing heavier with each second of silence.

“Would you prefer that I had?” Snufkin snapped, looking up at Moomin. He stopped walking. His face softened as the two made eye contact, and Moomin noticed that Snufkin’s face, which often displayed a carefree expression, seemed more worried than he had seen, almost regretful and scared. Moomin couldn’t help but think, in that moment, how funny it was that, surrounded by a forest of decay, Snufkin still had the lively energy of spring, but seemed unaware of it. His face, so soft, which Moomin couldn’t help but want to kiss… Moomin had nearly forgotten that he had been asked a question.

“Of course I wouldn’t prefer that you had left,” he said honestly. “The times when you aren’t around, I…” he stopped himself. It was growing harder and harder to hold the confession back now, harder and harder to pretend that he didn’t love Snufkin. It was the fault of the woods, he thought, with their protection and illusion of privacy. What could he say now? His incomplete sentence seemed to hang between the two of them, and Moomin hoped that Snufkin would forget they had been even talking.

But of course he didn't.

“You what?” Snufkin asked. His voice was uncharacteristically serious now, and Moomin couldn’t help but feel his heartbeat speed up as he looked at Snufkin’s face, concentrated and thoughtful with an intensity that was highly unusual. He didn't seem angry, more concerned, or perhaps curious. Moomin felt the same way, his senses picking up on every detail of the interaction as his heart pounded in his chest. It was like the world was sharper, and charged with more energy as Snufkin gazed at his friend.

“Oh, it was nothing,” Moomin lied. Hopefully, Snufkin would drop it.

“You’re not very convincing,” Snufkin said with a chuckle, and Moomin couldn't help but grin at his friend again. “Don’t worry.” He gave a soft smile, a smile that seemed to be as warm as a blanket or any of Moominmamma’s freshly baked food. It was a smile that was melting away Moomin’s ability to deny Snufkin from the truth of the way that he felt, the reality that had been building up for some time, perhaps since the day the two met, which had taken control of him and now longed to escape, held in only by fear of lack of reciprocation. But what a fear it was, the fear of unrequited love, and Moomin knew that if Snufkin didn’t feel the same way, their friendship was in jeopardy. 

“Well, see, Snufkin,” Moomin began hesitantly, “When you’re not around, I don’t really know what to do at all.” He looked down, unable to stand the thought of seeing Snufkin’s reaction as he spoke. “I miss you dearly. You’re like a part of me, and I often wish you wouldn’t go. I know you need your journeying, but I really…” he began to trail off before he could say the words that he knew he couldn’t go back from. 

“Moomintroll,” Snufkin blurted out suddenly. “I feel the same way. My journey is important to me, but when I’m gone, I miss you.” He said it in a way that was unusually panicked, a sense of anxiety in his voice, almost pleading. If Moomin’s mind hadn’t been racing, trying to find a reply, he may have found it cute. Moomin allowed his eyes to wander to Snufkin’s face again, and his eyes met his friend’s. Snufkin’s eyes were wide, even under the shadow of his hat, and… was Snufkin blushing?”

“That’s why I don’t want you to leave, Snufkin,” Moomin said, his voice shaking. “I miss you, I miss you so much, more than anything, because I love you.” The second the words exited his mouth he knew they couldn’t be taken back. His face was red, his eyes watering, and he looked down quickly again. He refused to see Snufkin, who he pictured looking shocked and embarrassed, by the confession. How futile it seemed now, Moomin thought, to describe his feelings.

Then, he felt Snufkin’s arms wrapping around his body, pulling Moomin in.

Moomin was shocked at first, but then allowed himself to feel the hug. The space between him and Snufkin, the space that he was so used to being aware of, had been closed. The two were together, and Moomin felt the warmth of Snufkin’s body, the reassuring squeeze of his hug. It was the kind of reaction he hadn’t expected, but Moomin felt soothed and comforted. It was amazing, Moomin thought, how even Snufkin’s hugs somehow managed to be so characteristic of him. The hug was gentle but Moomin could feel Snufkin’s strength. He realized that Snufkin smelled like pine needles and the outdoors, like the trees around the valley, and he felt at home. He was so caught up in the feeling that he almost missed Snufkin’s reply, spoken in a quiet voice.

“Moomintroll," Snufkin said. "I love you too.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Snufkin and Moomin talk about things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soft chapter part 2! thanks for all the comments on the last part y'all are the best !!

_ He caught himself imagining it, confessing to Snufkin that he loved him and Snufkin confessing back, but he couldn’t picture what would happen after such a thing, so he kept replaying the daydream, changing the way that he worded his feelings slightly, but always stopping after Snufkin’s response… _

Moomin hadn’t prepared for this moment at all.

He hadn’t even expected to confess his feelings to Snufkin today, but here he was.

And Snufkin loved him.

His mind seemed to struggle to piece it together, the sequence of what had happened becoming confused as he felt his heart racing, his only thought seeming to be that Snufkin loved him back. The relief of it all, the way that his fear seemed to melt away in an instant, left him feeling almost light headed, and he felt very soft suddenly.

Moomin didn’t know what to say. He knew words couldn’t capture the feeling adequately, the release of the anxiety that had been building up between the two since they had first met, and Moomin had first felt the strong desire to become Snufkin’s friend, the same desire he later realized was love after all.  

Snufkin’s cheeks were red, his eyes shy as they looked into each other’s eyes, but this time there was no pressure to look away, no reason to pretend that they weren’t staring, and Moomin could feel a grin spreading across his face, mirrored by Snufkin’s growing smile.

“I thought you wouldn’t feel the same,” Moomin said. Snufkin didn’t say anything for a while, just gently tapped his foot on the ground.

“I didn’t realize for a while, really,” he admitted. “I think I was trying to deny it.” He chuckled nervously. “But, when I’m with you, things are different. People are exhausting, and I need to be alone often, but somehow, you understand that. You give me my space, and when I spend time with you, I don’t feel as drained.” Moomin nodded understandingly. The two sat down on a fallen log nearby, and Snufkin put his arm around Moomin, leaning onto his shoulder.

“It took me a while too,” Moomin confessed. “To realize that I love you, I mean.”

“I think that’s okay,” Snufkin said. “Because you realized just the same.” His eyes were closed now, his head resting against Moomin. His soft, carefree smile was back, more relaxed than ever. His hand took Moomin’s paw, holding it tightly and reassuringly. Then, a cold gust of wind blew, and the two pressed themselves closer together to keep warm. For Moomin, it was another reminder that Snufkin would soon be gone. He felt sad again, sad and in love at the same time.

“Snufkin,” Moomin said suddenly, “you’re going to come back in the spring, aren’t you?” Dread filled him at the thought that there was a chance that Snufkin wouldn't return.

“Of course I'll come back!” Snufkin said immediately, as though he hadn’t considered there to be another option. “Moomintroll, you know I’ll always come back.”

“You will?” asked Moomin, not because he didn’t believe Snufkin, but because he wanted further elaboration. 

“I couldn’t think of doing anything different,” Snufkin said. “Even if I go on my journeys for the winter, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be here. I have to be alone, but I also love returning.” He paused, considering his next words. “The valley is like… my home.”

It was then that Moomin remembered Moominmamma’s words, spoken the day he had realized just how deeply he cared about Snufkin. “For Snufkin,” she had said, “love is giving up his lifestyle to stay in the same place most of the year, just to be with someone.” And suddenly, Moomin understood. For the first time, he felt content with Snufkin leaving for the winter, accepted it even. How caring Snufkin was, to have gone against his nature as a traveler, just to stay here with him for the warmer months. 

“Thank you,” Moomin said. “I think I get it now.” And he meant it. “I’m just glad to get to spend this time with you.”

“I feel the same way about you,” Snufkin said. “I spent a lot of time wondering why I came back every spring. But I realized, you’re special.”

“Do you remember a few nights ago, when you took me to see the stars in that clearing?” Moomin asked, wanting to get all his feelings out. “And you asked me if I had made a wish? What did you wish for?”

“To be able to understand my thoughts,” Snufkin replied.

“Oh.” Moomin was disappointed, and regretted asking the question. Of course Snufkin had wished for something more practical.

“What did you wish for?” Snufkin asked. Moomin wasn’t sure if he wanted to be honest, or if he wanted to lie and say it wasn’t important, to try to play things nonchalantly the way that Snufkin had, but after a brief moment, he decided to tell the truth.

“I wished that you loved me back,” said Moomin in a small voice.

“Well, it seems we both got our wishes,” Snufkin said, chuckling. Then he noticed Moomin’s face, which seemed sad. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Moomin said. “I just don’t understand your wish is all.” Suddenly Snufkin realized then how irrelevant his wish seemed, how little it appeared to apply to Moomin, and he knew why Moomin had been sad.

“A big part of me understanding my thoughts,” Snufkin explained, “was realizing that I loved you. So, I…” He didn’t know how to finish the statement, but Moomin’s face immediately brightened.

“Oh!” he exclaimed. “Then they did come true after all!” They both laughed now, a warm and refreshing feeling, a shared moment between them. After half a minute their laughter faded, but they caught each others’ eyes, still grinning, and Moomin couldn’t resist. Suddenly the two were kissing, and it was everything that Moomin imagined it would be. He felt the warmth of spring even as the cold air surrounded him, and he was happy.

A few hours later, Snufkin and Moomin were walking back through the forest towards home, when Moomin finally asked, “does this make us…”

“Boyfriends?” Snufkin finished. “If you want to be.” His cheeks were pink.

“I think I would,” Moomin said, and he really meant it.

“Then I suppose we are,” Snufkin answered, grinning again.

The crunch of leaves was calming now under their feet, the sun starting to set. The sky of late fall was open and vividly colored. There was quiet between them, but Moomin felt no tension, no need to think over things. He was blissful. After a while, the bridge, the same bridge they had walked over in the morning, came into view. Both knew it was time to part ways, but there had been a change in the feelings between them.

“I suppose we didn’t do much exploring,” Snufkin said with a laugh as they prepared to separate for the night. Moomin had almost forgotten that had been the original intention of their excursion. 

“That’s true,” said Moomin with a grin. He thought about how different things were now, and how he liked it. “But I think we found something new just the same.”


End file.
